A very bright light has gone out

When somebody I love dies, I am overwhelmed with a feeling of wanting to go back in time and start the day over, like it could really happen if I pray hard enough. My Uncle Monty was killed in a motorcycle accident last night and I think we are all in a state of shock. He is one who will be missed more than most. He was an incredibly special person who put everybody ahead of himself. He was kind and gentle and fun.

This all happened on an evening when I was not in such a great mood. I had had it up to my ears with my kids fighting and smarting off to each other and I had been flying off the handle at them all evening. Of course I regretted it immediately every time mean words came out of my mouth, but that didn't matter, the damage was already done. When the news came, I was overtaken by feelings of regret and remorse over the way I had been treating people in my life. I don't think Monty knew just how crazy I was about him and how much I thought of him, because I always thought there would be another day that I could tell him. It's time to make sure everybody understands how much they mean to me, not just because you never know what could happen, but because they deserve it.

The next few days will be more than difficult, I am sure, and especially for my Aunt Susan, who has been married to Monty for 35 years, since she was 16 years old. I have Halloween and all the kids' activities to keep me busy and my mind occupied, but everytime I snap back to reality and remember what has happened I am so sad. Monty had taken the entire day off work to ride his Harley, and it was such a beautiful day for riding. If there is a bright spot here, it is that he died doing something he absolutely loved. I wish I had a picture I could put up of Monty, but I have searched and I don't. Because HE was always the one taking the pictures.

So today I resolve to make it perfectly clear to everybody in my life how much they mean to me. And btw I hope everybody has a super spooky Halloween!

You Can't Scare Me~I Have Kids!!!

Welcome to mah world. I'm Tracy and I'm 32 yrs old. I have two kiddos~Samuel, aka Sam, Sammy, or Mokey~is 10, and Mariel, aka MarMar or Marikate, is 7. I can't believe I am in my 30's, not so long ago, that seemed SO OLD to me. And I really can't believe I have a kid whose age is now in the double digits. I'm raising the kiddos by myself and there are definitely days where I think I am going to lose my mind. This blog is going to be fun-if you know me, then you know I am a woman of few words, not because I'm not friendly but because I'm super shy. But just because I don't say a lot doesn't mean I don't have a lot to say! I got stories! Some of them may only be funny to me, others you may appreciate more. I LOVE to bake so I am sure I will share some recipes on here too. I am obviously just getting started but as I learn to navigate this thing, I will hopefully fancy it up a bit. Hope you like!